The Dreams We Had For You

Take a look at this face. Sleeping so peacefully, just a few days old.

Oh, all the dreams we had for you.

We dreamt of who you would most be like. You looked just like me. Yet you were easy-going like your dad. We told you all of the time that you made your sisters "look like sisters" because you had features from both of them.

We dreamt about how tall you would be each year, marking it down on the giant ruler I made for you in your room. Would you be the same size as your sisters? Would you be taller or more petite?

We dreamt about what sports you would play or activities you would love. Would you be like Cora and play any and every sport? Would you be like Quinn and love to act, dance, and make people laugh? Or would you be a combination of both of them?

We loved watching you try new foods and dreamt about what you would love to eat for your birthday dinners. Would you still love beets, mac & cheese, chocolate cake, Fruit Loops? Would you want salmon like Quinn or sloppy joes like Cora?

We dreamt about all three of our girls riding bikes together. Walking to school together, playing in the snow together. Running on the beach and building sand castles together. Holding hands and cuddling on the couch.

We dreamt about vacations we would take as a family. Your first time to the ocean. Visiting Disney World. Hiking in the woods. Your first girls weekend with mommy and your sisters.

We dreamt about taking you to your first movie, your first day of school, your first Daddy/Daughter Dance.

Sadly, all of those dreams will not be. We only have memories from the 18 months you were alive. We only have a few videos of you talking before the tumor stole that from you. We only have a few videos of you walking before the tumor stole that from you. We only have dreams of what life was like before we lost you and what life has to be now.

Not all dreams are good...our dreams came true when you were born. What do we call our life now without you?